Is “School phobia” a real illness?

Does “School phobia” actually exist ?

Here, a friend of Behaviour Change Counsel’s Claire Denby-Knight, has chosen to speak candidly – and courageously – of her experience of being school phobic. Gemma Winsper, Learning Mentor, is our “Expert” for this article.

Is “School phobia” nonsense, just another label, or does it really exist?

“School phobia certainly does exist! It affected me, taking over my life for four years.”

“It began at the age of ten – completely out of the blue.  I was a confident child, taking part in pantomimes, church choir, Brownies, dance classes and swimming.  All that changed when school phobia hit.  I was suddenly unable to take part in anything listed above – or even socialise with friends.”

“Getting me to school became a massive battle for my parents, and the only way I felt able to go was if they were with me in the classroom.  Luckily for me the school I was at had a very supportive Head Teacher who agreed with this intervention.  Slowly, over time, my parents went from being in the classroom with me, to volunteering around the school – although still not leave the site completely.”

“My transition to High School was extremely difficult.  The school which was my first choice offered NO support, saying “You’ll be fine when you get there”. The Head at my second choice was really keen to support me with my school phobia, so I went there!”

“Throughout years 7 and 8 I worked in the SEN base, supported by my parents and teaching assistants because I was unable to go into classrooms.”

“At the start of year 9 my parents were on the verge of home schooling me, but luckily a new Learning Mentor came to the school – and I was her first case!  Her commitment to me meant that I was gradually able to build up my time in the classroom and finally finish years 10 and 11 as a full-time class student!”

What are the signs?

“High levels of anxiety, separation anxiety (from parents), panic attacks, pleading to stay at home, unable to sleep, stomach aches, being sick, increased heartbeat, thoughts of self-harm and illness due to low immune system.”

What are the causes?

“As a family we have never been able to identify a specific cause of my school phobia.  However, at the time I was having friendship issues and my Dad was seriously ill.  He was admitted to hospital whilst I was at school so was unaware.  My Grandpa had major surgery which left him bed bound and my Grandma was ill too.  We have always thought it was a build-up of all these factors.”

How can the school help?

“Schools need to recognise school phobia as an issue and offer support to the child and the family.  The school should discuss with the family what will help them as every child with school phobia may need different support.  Schools need to listen to the child and what will help them and understand that they cannot help how they are feeling.  Also, understanding that even when progress is being made there will be days, maybe weeks, where there may be setbacks and support will need to be increased again.  School phobia does not have a quick fix.  The child and the family will need long term support.”

What can we do to help?

“Understand that the child may not know why they are feeling the way they do.  Be prepared for slow, steady progress – school phobia is not something that will ‘sort itself out’.”

Behaviour Change Counsel research: Every child or teenager will complain about going to school at some point, but repeated attempts to avoid going could be something more serious. One of the biggest helping hands we can give them is to talk openly and to listen, listen, and listen some more. No interrupting.  No judgements.  No throw away comments. Just two big, open, ready ears.  Then you need to talk to the right people, to get the right solution.

***Remember.  School phobia is VERY different from truancy. It is a physical and psychological condition that causes great distress and trauma, whereas truancy is an unwarranted absence from school without any psychiatric disorder ***

In Summary

What one piece of advice would you give to a child who is school phobic?

“Seek help and talk about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having.  don’t be embarrassed to be honest and say what you are thinking and feeling.  No worry is too silly or too small to talk about.  You will be okay, and things will improve over time.”

How can you best advise parents to support their child with school phobia?

“Have patience, know that they can’t help how they are feeling.  The child may take their frustrations out on you, but they don’t mean it.  This is the anxiety taking over. Acknowledge that any small step of progress is a great achievement.  Work closely with the school and find ways to best support the child.”

What is your final comment?

“School phobia is very real and horrific for the child experiencing it.  However – although it may feel like it at the time – it won’t last for ever.  With the right support from family, friends and the school, over time it is something that you CAN overcome.  I was a child who barely entered a classroom for four years but was able to leave school with ten GCSE’s! I am proof you can do it!”

To find out more about school phobia, please click on the links below:

https://bit.ly/2kQssZx

https://bit.ly/2lTy1GU

Thank you, Gemma, for the courage to share your story – and for the inspirational work that you do. It is a pleasure to know you, and to work with you. Claire Denby-Knight. Director.